The Choice
by Vacare
Summary: It's a story of love and hatred, happiness and pain. A story about choices that shape lives and futures. It's a story about Bellatrix and Sirius.
1. Prologue

_AN: I've always wondered how Bellatrix ended up as crazy and evil as she did, so I wrote this story as my explanation for how she came to be a death eater._

_Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling nor do I own any of her characters or books (sadly)._

Her eyes close automatically as she feels the sting of his blow across her face. She takes a sharp intake of air, feeling the pain spread. She knows that her face will hold a palette of gorgeous colors tomorrow morning. Yet, as she runs from the house, her mind is not focused on her newly acquired injury, but on the series of events that brought her here. . .

_AN: I know it's short, but it's the prologue! Please keep reading and don't forget to press the review button below! _


	2. Everything Will Be Alright

_Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters._

"_Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over."_

The first word that came to mind when Bellatrix Black realized her more than platonic feelings for her cousin, Sirius, was forbidden. Just the mere fact he was her cousin was bad enough, but that he was practically a blood traitor to the Black family was even worse. She had always been closest to Sirius out of all her family members, but this was just crazy! They were best friends; not meant to be lovers. But try as she might, Bellatrix could not stop her stomach from fluttering when she saw him, couldn't keep her heart from thudding when he spoke, couldn't stop the blush from rising to her cheeks whenever he touched her.

Yet, Sirius did not seem to pick up on her obvious signs of infatuation – or at least he pretended not to – for their friendship continued on just as before: laughing, talking, and sharing secrets – all except this one. It was only a matter of time before Sirius would notice that she wasn't telling him something. And it was true; just two weeks after Bellatrix had first realized her true feelings, on June 7, 1975 – a day that would eventually come to signify love, triumph, heartbreak, and pain – Sirius finally realized something was going on.

It was the last day of exams and the 6th year Gryffindors and Slytherins were hurriedly packing up their supplies from the evening Astronomy Exam so they could quickly join in on their Common Room festivities. Bellatrix, the last one left packing up, noticed trouble the minute she saw Sirius tell his friends to leave without him; the marauders were usually inseparable. And as he loped gracefully toward her, the moment she had been dreading for weeks suddenly became much more real. Now, the only ones left in the tower, Sirius finally spoke, "Bellatrix, are you mad at me?"

She couldn't meet his eyes. "No," she responded a little too quickly, "why on Earth would you think that?" she finished, grabbing her bag and walking toward the stairs.

He grabbed her arm, but she tried to pull away.

"Bella," he pleaded. Hearing his nickname for her on his lips broke her resistance, and she stood still. "Bella, you are flustered all the time and you are always trying to leave when we're together. How could I not think there was something wrong?"

She couldn't respond. She knew if she spoke her voice would giver her away, so she continued to stare at the ground.

"Please look at me Bella," Sirius asked softly.

Slowly, Bellatrix raised her face, her coal black eyes meeting his stormy gray ones.

"What's going on Bellatrix? Are you tired of being around me? Do you not want to be friends?" Sirius asked. Looking into his eyes, Bellatrix could see in them the pain, hurt and fear from his words. She couldn't keep her silence any longer, seeing the suffering in his face.

"No, Sirius, I could never be tired of you," she responded, "I don't think I would ever want to not be your friend," she gave a little giggle, but looking back at Sirius she could tell he was waiting for an explanation.

"It's just – "she faltered, but he motioned for her to continue, "well things have gotten kind of complicated and it's hard to explain," she finished lamely, looking back down at the ground.

Suddenly, two long, cool fingers were under her chin, lifting her head up.

"Please, let me try to understand," Sirius breathed.

Bellatrix could already feel her cheeks slowly heating up from his touch. Inwardly cursing her stupid hormones, Bellatrix made the decision to tell him the truth, rather than letting him find out from her traitorous cheeks.

"Okay, honestly Sirius? I want to bloody shag you! That's what's been wrong for the past two weeks!" Bellatrix whispered heatedly, her chest heaving, "And I know it's wrong! Merlin! Do you know how uncomfortable it's been for me knowing I want to snog my bloody cousin!"

Bellatrix stared at a wide-eyed Sirius; a number of emotions flitted so quickly across his face she couldn't tell what he was feeling. Full realization of what she had just said crashed upon her, and Bellatrix could feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes; she spun on her heel fully intending to head straight back to her dorm.

"Bellatrix, wait!" Sirius called, his voice betraying nothing.

She was only a few steps from the stairs, how easy it would be to just leave without saying or doing anything – never looking back. The choice was hers to make.

Without looking at him, she spoke quietly, her voice flat, "Why? Why should I wait? Just so I can hear you tell me how sick I am? How disgusted you are Why should I stay just to hear you tell me things I already fucking know?"

Bellatrix's voice broke as a sob tore through her. She heard footsteps come up behind her.

"Never," Sirius whispered. "I would never tell you that."

"Then what would you tell me Sirius?" Bellatrix asked quietly, turning slowly to face him.

"I'd tell you how happy I am that you are so sick because at least it's not just me now," Sirius responded, calmly.

"Wha—" Bellatrix began to ask, shocked, before discovering soft, warm lips upon her own. She closed her eyes and returned the kiss. It was shy; it was gentle; it was sweet; it was filled with emotion – Sirius could taste the salt from Bellatrix's tears – but, nonetheless, it was perfect.

They pulled away from each other slowly; wonder, love, and hope in their eyes. From the kiss, Bellatrix realized the true depths of her feelings for her cousin. No longer was it merely sexual lust and desire; it was a deeper need to understand him, to protect him, to talk to and listen to him. She wanted to know everything about him and be known in return. In short, Bellatrix was in love with Sirius. And so she told him.

A smile lit up Sirius' face. "I love you too, Bella," he spoke, confident and happy.

So the newly-found lovers grasped hands as they went to join the end of exam festivities: nothing on their minds except for love and hope for the future.

_Reviews are greatly appreciated! _


	3. Goodbye My Almost Lover

_Disclaimer: Sadly, these characters still belong to Ms. Rowling…_

Looking down on the grounds of Hogwarts, one could see two people along the lake, still basking in the late afternoon sun, as the rest of the school remained packing indoors for their departure the next day. Looking closer, you'd find that these two students seemed to fit perfectly together. The man had his back against a tree; the top buttons of his shirt undone with his red and gold striped tie draped carelessly around his neck. He looked down at the young woman tucked under the crook of his arm as she spoke, his black hair falling across his eyes.

"Hmm?" he asked, wondering what he'd missed.

The girl's normally flawless face furrowed into a slight frown with her irritation at being ignored. "I said," she spoke, and though her tone conveyed clear frustration, it was with gentle fingers that she reached up to brush the hair out of his eyes, "that I think we should make our relationship public."

The man's eyes widened at this statement, and he opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off by his girlfriend.

"Now hear me out, Sirius," she started, laying a finger on his lips, "we've been seeing each other for two weeks now, and I know your friends have begun to suspect that there's something between us. Why shouldn't we make it known that we care for each other? And don't give me that bullshit 'because we're cousins' argument again!"

"But it's true, Bella," Sirius replied, "everyone will look down at us for being together; they'll be disgusted by us."

"Why should we care what they think? We dictate our own lives, Sirius. This is our choice to make, not theirs," she argued back.

Sirius hesitated, refusing to look at Bellatrix; he noticed the love and frustration in her voice. "My friends," Sirius started, "they'll think I'm sick . . . I can't lose them. They're all I have."

"How do you know that's what they'll think, Sirius?" she whispered, "Have faith in them; they love you."

Sirius could hear the pain in her words now, and it tore at his heart; he hated being in this position. He knew she was right: the choice was theirs, his, to make. He loved Bellatrix so much, and they had been friends long before lovers. Yet, there was something so different and incredibly special in his relationship with the marauders. They had been his first real friends at Hogwarts, his brothers. He couldn't do anything to risk losing people that meant so much to him.

It had been quiet for a while now.

"Sirius?" Bella asked softly, expectantly.

Sirius knew she was waiting for some kind of response, but he couldn't answer. He couldn't make this decision. Not yet; it was all too soon.

The silence became unbearable. Bellatrix slowly became aware, with a sad realization, of Sirius' silent rejection. Drained of hope, Bellatrix felt as if fate had played some cruel trick on her. How could something so good disappear so quickly?

"So this is the choice you've made?" Bella asked, her voice conveying no feeling,

His silence was enough of an answer for her.

"Well let me know if you ever find that Gryffindor courage you're so proud of . . . I guess this is the end, isn't it?" she finished.

The flatness of her voice made Sirius finally look up. Though her words were devoid of emotion, Sirius could plainly see the pain, anger, and hurt in her black eyes. Yet, the amount of love still present there made Sirius' soul scream in anguish. How could her hurt someone he loved so much? The answer was so simple; he didn't love her enough.

Bellatrix didn't wait for a response; she couldn't bear it if he said yes. She jumped up, willing the tears that threatened to fall no to. She glanced one last time at Sirius. She couldn't tell what he was thinking; she never could.

"But you were wrong, Sirius," she spoke, quietly, for the last time, "you have me; you've always had me."

She turned on her heel, running back up to the castle; the end of the school year had never some at a better time.

Sirius watched her go; his heart breaking more and more with every step she took away from him. Was it possible to regret a choice anymore than he did now?

_AN: Yes, I know it's rather short . . . but it is very important! Chapter 3 is in the works and hopefully will be up soon. I should also be posting another oneshot shortly . . . as soon as I get the time to type it out. Now if you please press the little button below, and review, review, review! _


	4. And the Stars Refuse to Shine

Disclaimer: These characters still do belong to Ms. Rowling.

Sirius stared out the window of his train compartment at the pouring rain – so typical in Britain. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling that he had made a horrible decision about Bellatrix. Every time he saw her, feelings of desolation, regret and guilt would creep upon him, forcing him to leave whatever room she was in. He couldn't bear the way she looked at him – heartbreak and anger written so clearly in her eyes. It was her eyes that killed him; those coal black eyes that always conveyed all of Bella's feelings. Now that her family was staying with his for the summer, things had gotten unbearable for Sirius. With Bellatrix no longer speaking to him, he had no refuge from the endless stream of jibes and insults that came from the rest of his family members. It was only two weeks into his summer vacation and Sirius had already dodged numerous curses, courtesy of his parents, aunts and uncles. After this last brutal attack, Sirius saw no other option, except for fleeing. He had decided to escape to James' house for a week before looking for a place to rent; there was no way he would be able to return home after his last confrontation with his family. He hoped his friends would be able to help him get over Bellatrix, and distract him from thinking of his family. After a minute or two, he was pulled out of his thoughts by a friendly voice.

"Padfoot? Is everything okay? You seem oddly quiet," Remus Lupin spoke from across the train compartment. Sirius had picked up Remus on his way, passing the trip off as a surprise for James. Of course Remus didn't believe Sirius – Padfoot was much more subdued and anxious than usual – but he also guessed that, despite the questions, Sirius would not divulge the real reason for this sudden visit.

"Yeah, Moony, everything's fine," Sirius replied quietly, not meeting his friend's eyes.

"You'd tell me if something was up, right Pads?" Remus pressed, sounding doubtful. Sirius' careful wall against his emotions worried Remus.

"'Course, Remus," Sirius assured his friend, "I'm just getting fed up with the Black family. Nothing new."

He gave a small smile and Remus returned it, but Sirius could tell it was forced. And, once again, Sirius wondered if he was making the right choice in keeping secrets from his closest friends. He looked at Remus and, seeing the doubt and disappointment etched across his friend's face, he felt the atmosphere suddenly become much more distant. Was this separation the choice he really wanted to make?

The stars were brightly shining next to the luminescent waxing moon. The glowing orbs hung from the vast darkness that was the night sky. Sirius was sitting in the window seat of his room at the Potter mansion, staring up at this night sky. He was exhausted from an evening of trying to keep up a pretense of being the happy, carefree person he usually was. But it was hard to concentrate on being happy when he felt so alone and troubled. _'It's especially difficult now,'_ Sirius thought, as he recognized Bellatrix among the stars. He couldn't help but notice, with a twinge of sadness, how far away Bellatrix was from his Dogstar. And then, upon further inspection, he saw, with heart-wrenching clarity, that both Sirius and Bellatrix glowed weakly in comparison to the other constellations.

With this realization, all of his defenses – against Bellatrix, his family, himself – came tumbling down. All of his thoughts of that day, their relationship, his choices, and his family blew in like a flood until he felt as if he were drowning and no one was there to save him. Everything he had been holding inside since he and Bella had first gotten together, begged for freedom.

And so he let go; sobs wracking his body as he buried his face in his hands.

And it was a terrible sound. The sound of a person who has lost himself.

Enveloped by his grief, Sirius did not hear the door open, or notice his two best friends enter his room – not until they spoke.

"Sirius," Remus said gently, "please tell us what's wrong. We hate seeing you in so much pain."

"Yeah, mate," James put in, rather awkwardly, "It's kinda weird seeing you like this. You haven't cried since . . . well, never I guess."

Sirius looked up in time to see Remus, an annoyed expression on his face, elbowing James, who looked thoroughly bewildered by the abuse. Sirius let out a slight snort through his tears. His noise caught the attention of his two best friends – matching looks of concern plastered upon their faces, although James did look slightly uncomfortable.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, confused.

Sirius let out a sigh at their worried faces. _'Could he tell them?'_ He knew that they cared for him a lot – that was clear by the fact that they were sitting in front of him now. Yet, all his life, he had been surrounded by family that hated his mere existence – people he would never be able to trust. He remembered the years before Hogwarts when he had felt worthless, unloved, lost. Bellatrix had been his one sanctuary; the only person who loved him unconditionally. And of course, since his parents knew that, they banned the two from seeing each other, except for at family functions.

And then the marauders came along to make him feel like he was special; to help him find his way. There was no way he could risk losing his best friends; no way he could risk losing himself again. _'But then again,'_ he thought, _'perhaps I'm already so far gone that I need to be found.' _

And with this thought, Sirius started to speak, bracing himself for whatever their reactions might be. He told them everything: how they got together, the few weeks of bliss they shared, ending it, his guilt and regret, her ignoring him, his family tormenting him – it all came spilling out in a rush. And all of his emotions re-surfaced, brining on a fresh wave of tears.

"And I don't know what to do now," Sirius said, "I just know that I can't keep feeling the way I am; it's like I've fallen in a hole and I can't get out, I'm so far down. And I'm all alone," he finished.

Remus' eyes filled with tears at seeing his friend in so much pain. He had watched Sirius slowly becoming happier and more confident with himself during their six years at Hogwarts, and it killed him to see Sirius looking so broken again.

"Sirius," Remus began, "I want you to know that you can tell us anything – we'll always be here to help you; we'll always accept you, no matter what. Right, James?"

"Of course, Pads," James answered easily, "after all, us Marauders have to stick together."

He grinned at his two friends, but they could both still see the troubled look in his eyes. James was worried for Sirius; they were practically brothers. James knew that things had to be pretty awful to affect Sirius so deeply. He wanted to help Sirius, but he wasn't sure how. Suddenly, an idea struck James.

"Hey Padfoot," James started, "why don't you just move here? You know you can crash here, right? You already have all your stuff here, and we only have one more year of school left; there's no point in looking for your own place yet . . ."

"Yeah, I think that'd be great," Sirius began to reply, "but won't your parents mind?"

"Are you kidding me? My parents love you Sirius!" James exclaimed, "I think my mom might like you better than me, even," he added as an after thought, "I don't think they would like the thought of you living alone, either."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but grinned all the same at the prospect of living with the Potters for the rest of his summer.

"Thanks James," Sirius said, "And really you guys, thanks for, you know, listening," he added rather awkwardly.

"Hey, no problem," Remus and James replied in unison.

"Well, g'night then," James spoke, heading for the door. Remus followed after giving Sirius a brief hug.

"'Night Prongs, Moony," Sirius replied quietly.

As the door closed and Sirius jumped into bed, he couldn't help but smile slightly as he noticed the Dogstar seemed to have regained some of its shine.

AN: Hope you aren't still terribly mad at Sirius now that you've seen his side of things. Things might be shaping up for them in the future . . . or they might not. I guess you'll just have to read and find out ;) I'll hopefully get the next chapter done soon; it will likely be done from Bella's P.O.V. Now if you could please press the little review button . . .


	5. As the Sun Rises

**Disclaimer: The characters are all Jo's.**

_AN: Sorry for the long wait; I have been SUPER BUSY with end of the year finals, my musical, piano competitions, etc. Hopefully, now that it's summer, I will have more time to write and post __ Hope you enjoy – I think this is my longest chapter yet!_

Bellatrix woke up early in the morning eager to talk to Sirius. They had been studiously avoiding each other throughout the week, and now, after much thinking, Bellatrix had come to the decision that she would be okay with keeping their relationship a secret, as long as they could stay together. She realized that it was just too hard to stop talking to someone that had always been such a vital part of her life. Slipping into a pretty green summer dress, she crept out of her bedroom, careful not to wake her sleeping sisters. As she climbed the stairs to Sirius' room, she tied her long hair up into a loose bun and thought over what she was about to do: it felt like one of the best decisions she's ever made. She knocked lightly on his door, but no one answered. She smiled slightly to herself, knowing that Sirius was not an early riser.

"Sirius," she called softly, "I'm coming in, okay?"

Once again, there was no response. Thinking Sirius was still sleeping, Bellatrix opened the door and stepped in. She stopped abruptly and the door swung shut behind her. Rays from the rising sun streamed perfectly through the window onto an empty, unmade bed. She would have thought that he had simply gone for a morning broom ride, but the state of his room told her otherwise. His dressers were open and empty – he had obviously left in a hurry and wasn't planning on returning soon. Above the bed, dust particles danced in the sunlight – evidence that the bed had not been slept in the previous night.

A cool breeze caused the scarlet curtains to rustle and brought Bellatrix back to reality. She didn't understand what had happened. Was it her fault he had left? She collapsed upon his bed, so utterly bewildered by this chain of events. Her eyes stung from the inability to cry – Sirius had already been the cause of too many fallen tears. A soft tap on the door drew her attention away from her thoughts. Looking up, she felt her heart leap at seeing Sirius, before quickly realizing it was actually her younger cousin, Regulus.

"Hey, Regulus," she whispered huskily, her throat dry.

"You okay there, Bella?" he asked, stepping into the room.

"Of course I'm –" she faltered seeing the deep concern on the youngest Black's face; it touched her that he cared, "No, I'm not okay; he's gone, Regulus, he just left. And it's probably my fault."

She watched as Regulus' eyes widened slightly and his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"You mean you didn't hear what happened last night?"

His voice sounded concerned, puzzled and anxious; it was Bella's turn to worry.

"What do you mean, Regulus? What happened last night?"

She cringed inwardly as she heard her voice turn shrill – she didn't want to become the possessive, over-protective girl.

Regulus studied her for a moment, pondering how much he should say. However, Bellatrix was not known for her patience, and her younger cousin's silence in no way soothed her growing fears for Sirius.

"Regulus!" she snapped, "What happened?"

Startled out of his reverie, he quickly responded, "Sorry Bells, it's just –" he paused, earning him a glare from the female beside him, before continuing, "I don't think this is something I should tell you. There's something Sirius once told me; 'Dawn is the worst part of the day because there's nothing to stop the sunlight from uncovering your darkest secrets, your deepest fears, your worst traits. It is when we are most vulnerable because everything is out in the open.' So I think it's your time to have the truth revealed and you should hear what happened last night from the lips of those who caused the events to take place."

"Who do I need to go to, Regulus?" she asked quietly.

He took in her stony face, and hoped that he was doing the right thing in telling her.

Taking a deep breath, he said, "Well, besides the obvious – Sirius," he started and Bellatrix rolled her eyes, " – you should get a good understanding, however, biased, of what transpired last night from my parents. And I guess maybe yours, as well," he added as an afterthought.

Without a word, Bellatrix swept out of the room heading swiftly down the stairs. She slowed upon entering the kitchen as she saw her family seated at the table. They were all calmly gathered – as if there was nothing wrong; her parents and Regulus' were all having morning tea with the paper at one end of the table while her sisters talked in hushed whispers at the other end.

"Aunt, Uncle? Where's Sirius?" Bellatrix inquired pleasantly; they looked up from the paper.

"Who, dear?" her mother asked, innocently, in return; yet Bellatrix was sure they had heard her.

"Sirius, mum – your nephew," Bellatrix clarified just in case.

"I can't say I know who you are talking about, Bellatrix," her mother responded, still pleasant as if they were talking about the weather, "Do you know what your daughter is talking about, darling?" Bellatrix's mother asked her husband.

Bellatrix watched, astounded, as her father shook his head blankly.

"Are you sure you are feeling well, niece?" her uncle asked.

Bellatrix couldn't understand what was happening; she felt like she was living in one of those muggle horror films that Sirius had shown her. She glanced around the room, as id searching for some clue as to what she should do next. Her sisters studiously ignored her gaze, and Regulus was no where to be found. Looking back to the head of the table, her parents and uncle continued to stare blankly, but her aunt's eyes were riveted on upon her – daring her to continue on the same track. She was aware that if she continued to dig deeper she would be heading into hot water – perhaps she was in it already. But she couldn't just let it go; she had to know what happened.

"Aunt," she started sweetly. Her mother sent a warning glance in her direction, but she ignored it, "I know something happened last night with Sirius, and I am asking you to please tell me. Don't pretend like you don't know him; he's your _son_!"

At the word "son", Wallburga Black's eyes narrowed dangerously and when she responded it was in a low hiss.

"This man you speak of overstepped his boundaries last night, and in return he got exactly what he deserved. As far as I am concerned Sirius is dead to me; he no longer exists. And if you know what's good for you, Bellatrix, you will never utter his name in my presence again."

Bellatrix still had so many questions_: Was he hurt? Where was he now?_ But a quick look at her parents told her she was on her own if she kept talking. Biting her tongue, Bellatrix slowly walked out of the room. Shooting a glance toward her sisters, they both got up and followed her out. The three girls found Regulus waiting outside the door, but they all remained silent until they reached the room farthest from the kitchen – Sirius' bedroom. Narcissa, Andromeda, and Regulus all looked warily down at their ebony-haired friend on the bed; they were unsure of her actions.

"Please tell me what happened and don't leave anything out. I want the truth now," Bellatrix quietly demanded of her company, her voice perfectly controlled.

"Oh, Bella, it was awful!" her baby sister exclaimed, "It was worse than all their other fights."

"What did they fight about?" Bellatrix asked, fear growing in the pit of her stomach.

"The usual," Regulus said darkly and then hesitantly, "and a little bit over you."

"Me?" Bellatrix asked, astonished.

"Yes, you," Narcissa said, her voice clipped, "I wasn't aware you and Sirius were in a _relationship_." She spat out the word "relationship", disgust clear on her face.

"What?" Bellatrix gasped. They had kept everything a secret for this reason especially – that no one in their family would find out and react badly.

"Yes," Narcissa continued snidely, "both our parents and his were thoroughly disgusted by your encounters, as am I. However, they decided it's not your fault because Sirius must have corrupted you. And then, of course, it's also his fault that you are so depressed lately. Really, I am utterly amazed he was able to escape alive, but good riddance, I say – wouldn't you agree, Bella, dear?"

"Was he hurt?" Bellatrix responded, ignoring her sister's question.

"Of course," Narcissa replied bitingly, a wicked grin forming on her face, "crucioed within an inch of his life."

Bellatrix felt her stomach drop. This was all her fault; if only she had been there. She started toward the door; she had to go to him. She was almost out of the room when she heard her sister's voice, again, so cruel in her ear.

"I wouldn't go to him if I were you," she advised with her uncanny ability to interpret Bella's actions, "unless you want to die because Aunt and Uncle won't forgive you for going and our parents sure as hell won't stop them from hurting you."

Bella stopped in the doorway, but didn't turn back.

"Besides," Narcissa added, "Sirius made it clear that he no longer loves you before he left."

Bellatrix knew that remark was meant to hurt her, and despite her attempts to stop it, she couldn't keep from feeling a pang in her heart at those contemptuous words. She turned around to look at Regulus and Andromeda, searching their aces for some sign that Narcissa was lying. All she found was pity, proof to Narcissa's words. Anger welled up in her; anger at her family for hurting Sirius, anger at Narcissa for hurting her, anger at herself for believing that Sirius could possibly still care and for still loving him despite everything.

She faced Narcissa, ready to throw back her own insults, when movement beyond her sister caught her attention. A photo had fallen to the floor thanks to the slight breeze passing through. She brushed past her blonde-haired sibling to take a closer look. It was a picture of her and Sirius sitting by the lake at Hogwarts, side by side, their backs against a tree. She watched herself yawn and stand up, ready to go, only to have Sirius grab her around the waist and pull her back down. Landing on top of him, they both collapsed into uncontrollable laughter. It had been taken within the first few days they had gotten together – when they were simply overjoyed to be in each other's presence – but Bellatrix didn't know who had captured this moment. All that registered was the fact that it was still here. Just like he had left her behind, Sirius had not wished to take this photo either. Narcissa's voice sounded again.

"Bella," she implored sweetly, "you know you belong here. You're a Black; _Tojorus Pur_, my dear," then she added, a hint of contempt hidden in her voice, "Sirius got what he deserved. Don't forget that, Bella. He's a worthless piece of filth and was rightfully disowned."

For once, Bellatrix couldn't find it in herself to defend Sirius. Her fury and sadness over everything overwhelmed her completely. She just wanted to be alone, even if the only place she could find peace was in Sirius' room.

"Please leave," Bellatrix requested.

Andromeda and Regulus exited, shooting concerned glances in Bellatrix's direction. Narcissa remained.

"Bellatrix," she responded, her voice sugary, "I think it would be best if I stayed awhile with you, dear –"

"Fuck off, Cissy," Bella demanded harshly.

She hated that her older sister thought she could hurt her so badly and then act as if nothing had happened. But, after all, it was the Black way: cut you wide open, throw salt on your wounds, and then pretend like it never happened.

Narcissa's footsteps echoed quietly out the door. Bellatrix walked over to the window, her eyes itched to cry, but no tears would come. The sun was directly above the Earth – it was only noon. It seemed so strange that her entire world had flipped upside down in a matter of hours. She supposed what Regulus had repeated to her was true: dawn truly was the worst part of the day. She took one last look at the photo of her and Sirius before tossing it out the window, letting the summer breeze carry it away, along with all of her hopes.

_AN: Well? Let me know what you think! I love feedback – compliments, criticism (constructive, please), thoughts, wishes for what you want to happen next, etc. The more reviews I get, the easier/faster it will be for the next chapter to be completed (hehehe… I had to add some kind of incentive!), so please review! ~Vacare_


	6. When the Sky Bleeds

_AN: I know it's been a long time, and I'm sorry. Life has been very time consuming lately, not to mention I was struggling greatly with this story. Because of this, I would like to thank Hazzelll for helping me get back on my feet with this story; reviews are the best incentive to get me back to writing! Anyways, on to the story: the beginning's a little confusing. Bold is Sirius, Italicized is Bellatrix. I feel like the subject matter is getting darker, so - as a warning – this chapter is quite darker, and future chapters will only be more so for some time (I may have to change the rating). Enjoy!_

**Insults shouted. A flash of light. A wicked cackle. Enormous pain. The pain was intolerable; it felt like his body was consumed with fire that grew hotter by the second. Would this hurt never end?**

_Why was there no salvation from this hell? There had to be some escape from the loss, the pain, the anger. She didn't want to feel anymore. It hurt too much to feel, to let her emotions in._

Lightning cracked through the midnight sky.

_The light hit something in the corner of the bedroom. She walked over to the small table that had glared at her with the light's reflection. A small knife sat enticingly on the table. She reached out for it, not questioning its presence; it just might work._

**The fire burned. He knew it was the end. How could he kid himself into thinking they might care?**

_She raised the blade into the air. It shimmered brightly in the dark room. How could she kid herself into thinking he might care? She plunged the knife into her flesh, biting back a scream._

**The pain had reached its climax; he didn't think he could stand it anymore. He heard someone scream and vaguely registered that it was his own.**

Thunder crashed.

Bellatrix gasped in pain as she watched blood flow to the floor. Her blood. She hadn't expected there to be so much. But she had achieved her goal: she no longer felt the pain, she no longer felt anything. It registered somewhere in her brain that she shouldn't be losing so much blood, but she didn't have the strength or the will to stop it. She collapsed against the bed, a quiet, seemingly futile plea for help escaping from her lips. And that's when she blacked out.

With a start, Sirius sat up in bed, gasping for breath after reliving the horrors of torture. He walked over to the window and glanced out to the stormy sky that had woken him. Lightning flashed. It lit up a blood red sky. Sirius blinked. He looked up again, but it was midnight black once more. He shook his head. He must be seeing things due to his lack of restful sleep. He turned back to bed when the lightning flashed once more. He looked into the mirror standing in front of him. It showed him standing there, but the normal darkness of the sky did not surround him. The sky was painted red again. He stared at the reflection in front of him, but the sky refused to return to its usual hue. He chanced a glance around; outside the sky looked normal.

Sirius returned his gaze to the mirror where the sky continued to bleed. He was startled to discover that his image was no longer present in the Potter's majestic mirror. He was now staring into his old bedroom, and to his great surprise, Bellatrix was crumpled on the floor against his bed. He looked closer and saw a pool of blood forming around her.

He took a step back from the image, fear growing in the pit of his stomach. What was happening to him? He didn't know whether or not to believe that the picture in front of him was true. He desperately hoped it wasn't. He gazed back into the mirror only to see himself standing in his bedroom at the Potter's. The sky was normal. Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that Bellatrix really was hurt. He stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what his next course of action should be. Go back to bed and risk the fact that Bella could be seriously injured and alone, or return to his home to check on her and risk his life if anyone saw him there.

And that was when he heard it. His name echoed like a prayer through the room. It was so quiet he thought he was imagining it. But there was no denying whose voice it was. Bellatrix uttered his name as if it was all she had the strength to do. Sirius' mind was made up.

He grabbed his broom and double-checked his pocket to make sure his wand was with him – he didn't want to run into trouble without it. He would need to be quick; he couldn't run the risk of running into any of his family come morning, and likewise, he wouldn't want to answer the Potters' questions as to why he wasn't in bed. It should work, though, assuming he could mend Bellatrix. He still had enough of the night to work with. Standing on the window ledge, he swung his leg across his broom and kicked off into the black sky.

Circling his former home, Sirius thanked all higher beings that his family had not yet changed the building's protective wards. Looking up, he saw the movement of fluttering curtains and knew that the window to his room was open. Soundlessly, Sirius glided his broom through it. He landed with a muted thud and upon touching down, rushed to the side of his heavily bleeding cousin. She was sitting in a pool of her own blood – it shimmered in the light of the moon. He was grateful for her unconsciousness; it would make the process much easier.

"Evanesco," he muttered with a quick flick of his wand, and the blood on the floor disappeared.

Kneeling down, he could see the thin gash that ran along Bellatrix's collar bone. It alarmed him how close the injury was to her heart. He placed his wand at the tip of her wound and, trailing the stick down the cut, softly chanted a series of spells, the cut closing as he went. Years of healing himself from his family and Remus from the moon had allowed him to practice these spells to perfection. The cut would stay sealed, although Bellatrix was sure to have a scar with a gouge as deep as hers. He looked over the injury, admiring his handiwork. He was startled out of his inspection by a shine in his eyes. Looking for the source, he found a slender knife laying on the floor a few feet away, blood on its edge. He had found the weapon. He reached over to the glistening blade and wiped it clean with the edge of his shirt.

Upon looking up again, Sirius noticed the cause of the shine came from the birth of a new day. The first rays of sunlight were reaching over the horizon. The young man swore under his breath; he was running out of time. Quickly he put his arms beneath the girl on the floor and gently lifted her up, his muscles stretching taut as he did so. He walked over to the bed – his bed – and placed her carefully upon it. He pulled a blanket over her and smoothed her dark hair back from the paleness of her face.

He wished so very much that he could just stay here with her. He wanted to protect her from everything, but he knew that neither of them would be safe if he stayed.

Hearing the soft stirrings of a household awakening, Sirius was shaken out of his reverie. It was time to go. He took one more glance at the girl on his bed and then, placing a sweet kiss on her forehead, Sirius grabbed his broom and kicked off the window ledge, bound for the Potter's.

It had never occurred to him to take Bella with.

_AN: I hope you enjoyed it! Please, please, don't forget to leave a review; they are extremely helpful in getting me to write more and to improve upon my writing. Please feel free to leave any suggestions (writing-wise or plot-wise). ~Vacare_


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